"and then i drew a robot, francis, but my crayon broke, and then i had a popsicle. i mean i had twelve popsicles. you like popsicles, Francis?"

"cats ate her face."

"and then theres a big explosion and lots of bubbles, thats where babies come from."

"is malcom a robot? "

"i hate my brothers. i only like me. i hate my brothers. i only like me."

"i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want! i want!

"the monster! it tried to suck my brain out! "

"and then the monster started growling at me, so i threw rocks at him, and i killed him. and then he started flying around on rocket boots, and i got to ride inside his head and now the monsters my friend. and we, and we went to get slurpees "

"his name is egg. i named him."

"i don't take my legs for granted." - dewey
"i know honey, you're a good boy. stop playing with yourself." - lois

"hey, what am i thinking right now?" -reese
"i'm smart, i'm not a psychic." -malcolm
"can you understand what dogs are saying?" -dewey
"no." -malcolm
"i can." -dewey

malcolm: "what do you do if he catches you?"
dewey: "roll in a ball"
malcolm: what do you do if he starts kicking you?
dewey: "stay in a ball."

"how much does my head weigh?"