#1 zoo: aired sunday, november 3, 2002

malcolm, who has been going through an adolescent depression all summer, gets dragged to the zoo with his family. reese gets bullied by a goat. hal and lois argue about lois's past relationships after hal gets bitten by a tarantula. malcolm and dewey fall into the tiger enclosure. francis and piama try to drive cross-country, but their car breaks down and they end up as ranch hands on a clueless german guy's farm.

#2 humilithon: aired sunday, november 10, 2002

malcolm tries to become popular his first week of high school, but his parents volunteerism and his krelboyne friends sabotage him. while lois enjoys volunteering, hal goes to war with mr. herkabe, who is the volunteer coordinator at the high school. dewey enjoys a short stint of being a latch-key kid, and takes up the piano. francis almost quits otto's farm because otto keeps letting all the other staff go on vacation and francis has to cover for them.

#3 family reunion: aired sunday, november 17, 2002

everyone, including francis and piama, go to a family reunion on hal's side of the family. hal's family treats lois incredibly poorly, even worse than she treats piama. hal tries to get his father to really talk to him instead of always turning everything into a joke. reese trains dewey to act cute to get in their rich grandfather's good graces, but it's malcolm that ends up bonding with the old man over war memorabilia. finally, the boys come to the defense of their mal-treated mother and destroy the celebration to protest the way lois has been treated.

#4 stupid girl: aired sunday, november 24, 2002

lois enjoys having a "good boy" around when stevie stays with malcolm while the kenarbans are out of town. malcolm gets coaching from reese on how to be dumb when he meets a cute dumb girl at school. hal wins $1,000 from a scratch lottery ticket and rents a steamroller so he can crush things. francis tries to protect his naive boss from scam artists selling things like cow sunscreen.

#5 forwards backwards: aired sunday, december 1, 2002

malcolm and reese play a series of pranks on one another that ends in a go-kart disaster and malcolm spending yet another birthday grounded. dewey plays abraham lincoln in the school play, but his parents miss his spectacular performance. hal needs craig's nerdy help to buy malcolm a comic book as a birthday present. francis fights a devil cow that is terrorizing the ranch.

#6 forbidden girlfriend: aired sunday, december 15, 2002

malcolm starts tutoring, and one of his students becomes his first really girlfriend. even though both their parents forbid them to see each other, they can't help but spend time together and make out as much as possible. francis goes to war with the real ranch next door to his dude ranch. reese makes use of a boy in the neighborhood who looks almost exactly like dewey. lois and hal realize their own productivity when they stop having sex for a week due to lois's medication.

#7 malcolm holds his tongue: aired sunday, january 5, 2003

malcolm joins the basketball team at school and is really excited about being apart of a team that is considered cool. he soon find himself under the coach's skin due to his constant complaining, which eventually gets him kicked off the team. determined to put an end to this horrible habit, malcolm begs the coach to let him back promising to "hold his tongue". meanwhile, hal has taken up speed walking while francis has taken up nude modeling -- both which end is disastrous results.

#8 boys at ranch: aired sunday, january 12, 2003

hal takes the boys to visit francis at the ranch. hal is surprised when otto and gretchen rave about how wonderful francis is. malcolm and reese are disappointed by the new, grown-up, responsible francis, particularly when he scolds them for taking out all-terrain vehicles and crashing one of them. the boys get their oldest brother back with fireworks. dewey learns how to clean everything, including his conscience, from gretchen. hal and otto go out shooting together, scare away their horses, and only find their way home in the dark by following the fireworks.

#9 grandma sues/lois is pregnant: aired sunday, february 2, 2003

grandma ida is finishing up another nightmarish visit at the same time francis and piama come for a visit. with a full house, malcolm has been exiled to a tent in the yard. francis and piama kick malcolm out of his tent so that they can find some privacy for sex. on her way to the bus station, ida slips on a wet leaf, falls, and breaks her collar bone. ida decides to sue her daughter's family. lois feels sick, goes to the doctor, and finds out she's pregnant. everyone is horrified by the news, but eventually the boys band together to support their parents, and grandma ida's lawyer doesn't want the case when it turns out the family doesn't have insurance. more...

#10 if boys were girls: aired sunday, february 9, 2003

pregnant with her fifth child, lois hopes for a girl and imagines what her life would be like if she had had all girls to begin with. hal stresses about what to get lois for valentine's day and ends up trying to steal her a gift. more...

#11 long drive: aired sunday, march 2, 2003

lois takes malcolm on a long drive and decides that it would be a good opportunity for a serious mother to son sex talk. francis lies to his beloved boss for the first time. hal's music group falls apart before it even gets to the stage. a day in jail tests a defiant reese, who faces a "scared straight" encounter. more...

#12 kicked out: aired sunday, march 9, 2003

with lois out of town and hal left in charge, the boys don't seem to be taking him too seriously. as tensions escalate between hal and malcolm, a huge fight ensues and malcolm leaves the house. now hiding out in his girlfriend nikki's attic, his constant presence puts a strain on their relationship. meanwhile, hal is scouring the neighborhood and hanging missing person signs in search of malcolm.